For the love of LOVE

So many people have so many theories on ” The key to a successful relationship”. Of Course we each have been through various obstacles throughout our lives when it came to relationships so hey, maybe we do have “our” ways we feel like a relationship will work. For me, communication solidifies all relationships.It’s at the top of my list. You have to learn to have a voice. No one can hear a whisper honey!

Now I’ve been dating since I was around 15 years old. ( That’s over  ten years of experience). However, it has taken me to get into my current relationship to realize that communication is key.

In other’s opinions, trust may be most important.Hey, we all have our own preferences.Being in a loving long-term romantic relationship is one of the surest routes to long term happiness. But it doesn’t happen naturally, it requires certain skills. The good news is that these skills can all be developed, they’re all skills you should already be developing, and they’ll help you with all your other relationships as well. Here they are:

Expectations: Discuss what you each expect out of the relationship, what you’re committing to, and what your respective roles will be.
Expect ups and downs in even the best relationship, and realize that love isn’t an absolute that you’re either in or out of but something that ebbs and flows over time.

Openness: Open communication is necessary to genuinely know your partner and let them know you. You can’t help your partner utilize their strengths, move in the direction of their passions, and realize their dreams if you don’t know their strengths, passions, and dreams.
You also need to discuss attitudes toward the topics that cause nearly all relationship problems: gender roles, money, relatives, sex, and children.

Intimacy: Work at strengthening your closeness, because there is no stasis; if you aren’t getting closer together, you’re drifting further apart. Foster intimacy though honesty, acceptance, and trust. Spend time together. Touch. And for at least a few minutes a day, stare into each other’s eyes.

Caring: Be as concerned for their well-being as for your own, and look for opportunities to make their life better. Help them to succeed, and celebrate their successes with them.

Empathy: See things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.

Respect: Respect your partner, and act in a way that earns their respect, both inside and outside the relationship. Respect them even when you’re disagreeing. Listen without judgment. Accept them as they are, and don’t try to change them, but help them to change in ways they want to change. Focus on your partner’s strengths and cultivate a high opinion of them.

Self-Respect: It’s much easier for someone to like you when you like yourself. Don’t compromise your authenticity or sacrifice who you are for the sake of the relationship. And don’t put your partner’s needs above your own; treat each of you as equally important.

Constructive Disagreement: When disagreeing, don’t criticize, don’t blame, and don’t be hurtful or bitter. Most relationship problems start with hurt feelings that escalate. Learn to manage differences and conflict through communication, negotiation, and cooperation.
Solve problems as they arise, and never go to sleep angry.

Teamwork: Make decisions together, with the interests of both given equal weight. In the best relationships, each person cares as much about the other as about themselves.

Progress: View the relationship as an opportunity for you two to co-create your ideal lives together. Be committed to the continual development of each of you individually as well as the relationship itself. Look for opportunities to align your desires and goals with each other and to create shared meaning.

Positivity: Have the celebration of life and of each other be the emotional tone of the relationship. Say positive things to and about your partner at least five times more often than you say negative things.

Gratitude: Don’t take the relationship for granted. You are becoming an amazing person, in the fortunate position to be highly selective about whom you spend time with. You have chosen a wonderful person to build a life with, and you are blessed that they have chosen you as well.

Adventure and Variety: Share new, exciting, challenging activities with them. Seek out and embrace spontaneity together. Foster bonding and intimacy by infusing each day with spontaneity. Make romance and seduction lifelong passions.

Attraction: Remember that we don’t choose what we’re attracted to, but we do choose whether to be attractive. Do the things that your partner finds attractive, and tell your partner all the things you find attractive about them, inside and out.

Effort: Don’t think good relationships just happen. All the skills on this list require ongoing effort to master.

Love: Without love, time turns couples into enemies or strangers.
With love, anything is possible. When two people love each other as much as themselves, the tug-of-war disappears, and compromise and sacrifice become meaningless concepts because what’s best for one is best for the other. When you love another as much as yourself, working at the relationship becomes a joy and not a chore, and you celebrate the opportunity to help your partner’s inner radiance shine more brightly.

 Honesty:  One of the most important things you can be to your communication with your partner is honest. If what you’re saying isn’t true, then nothing real is being shared. Speak your truth, as much as you are able, with clarity, love and gentleness. When you dodge the truth out of fear for how it will be received, you only build bigger walls in your relationship. When you communicate your truth from a place of love, you’re always reinforcing the strength of your connection with your partner, no matter the response. You have to be honest.

Communication can make or break a relationship. The more open and connected the dialogue, the healthier a relationship tends to be. Take responsibility. You are in control of the way you communicate with your partner. Make a conscious effort to bring as many of the above intentions into your communications, and you’re bound to see and feel some very positive changes in your relationship.

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