Today I wanted to write a whole blog filled with Drake lyrics.. But I decided I’ll do that tomorrow lol. So, Tuesday’s are my ratchet TV day (and quite frankly I better not get any judgment for watching reality shows). Anyways, I was watching Married to Medicine on my DVR and realized that there is so much conflict in the world literally off of miscommunication. Most of us (myself included sometimes) lack the mindset and skills to resolve issues.
So I decided to help my favorite blog readers out and hopefully make your life a little bit more drama-free. With the help of a close friend and also professional therapist, I am going to relate some ways to help resolve conflicts and avoid them.
So please take notes, be open minded, let down your defenses and learn:
Remember the Golden Rule and Do Unto Others As You Want Unto You. It’s so simple, but key. People say all the time, if that were me I would… And then yeah. You know. I’ll give an example. I completely hate when people hang up on me. So I always say, if someone hung up on me I will kick them in the throat. lol. But listen, I’ve found myself hanging up on people a couple times. The thing is, we have to treat people how we would want them to treat us or its pointless and our hands aren’t clean. And to not live by these rules, you put yourself in the position where you have no right to require for anyone to treat you any differently than how you would want them to.
When you’re wrong, be wrong and then stop being wrong. This is so hard for me, personally, to admit when I am wrong. It takes times. And in most cases I know exactly when I am in the wrong as soon as I am, but you better believe I will not admit it. When you are wrong you have to take accountability for it just like you would want someone else who is at fault. And that’s not it. When you go to make things right, don’t justify your wrongness, just own up to it. There’s nothing worse in the apology world then someone who apologizes and tries to justify it all at the same time. I know you’ve heard the ‘I’m sorry I talked to you that way, it’s just you made me mad’. When you do things like this, you aren’t truly apologizing, you are just blaming that person for your actions. That’s no way to resolve a conflict. When you get an opportunity to make things right, do just that. Own your accountability for your actions and make it right. No justification. Just complete ownership.
Understand someones intentions. Many times we get mad about things someone does because we assume the worse. Example: I may feel like my boyfriend is ignoring me by not answering the phone when I call, but in all actuality he just may be in a meeting. Sometimes I will rush to be angry with him, but I know his intentions are not to make me mad and ignore me, but he’s just truly tied up. Understanding someones intentions goes a long way and can help you stop creating a problem out of no problem.
Think twenty steps ahead. Be considerate. If you know something you might do will make someone angry or hurt their feelings, then make the decision to change your action before it takes place. Your friend invites you somewhere and you know you will be late. Instead of just showing up late, let the person know. Go the extra mile and think ahead and do things you would like others to do.
Keep issues off social media. Self explanatory. Just don’t do it. Period. No way around it.
So I have to get back to my Ratchet TV day, but I challenge everyone reading this blog to take the time and resolve a few issues you may have today. And then enjoy the weight lifted off your soldier.