step one is admitting….

“All couples go through things in their relationship”.

Ok, I get that, but what about the way you handle whatever it is that you are going through? They say two wrongs don’t make it right, but it makes it even. Ok I am definitely for the making it even part because lord knows how petty I can be, but we really need to find a solution to resolve our problems somewhat more emotion friendly being that arguments can get a little out of hand and quick.

I am a very stubborn individual, and so is my significant other. I am also a very opinionated person, and so is he. So between where and what do we find balance to be able to deal with one another? Eh,’ to be honest we are still working at that, and years later at that. How can such an opinionated, stubborn individual like myself be so outspoken yet so silent? Hmm…..

I speak my mind but also keep in mind the feelings of others. Meaning, I have no problem telling you how I feel about something but I can soften it up a little bit to be a bit more emotion friendly because I do not care what age someone is, words do hurt! Let’s just be honest here. I for one get offended pretty quickly so I like to treat others how I would want to be treated. Ok, let me go a little in depth here to give you a clearer understanding of where I’m heading with this.

I do not mix well with criticism. Yes I know that not all criticism is bad but still I can do without it. My guy thinks that I can never admit when I am wrong. I think that’s bull crap. These are our opinions. I feel like he’s such a procrastinator and waits until the lat minute for just about everything. This, I know for a fact is true indeed, however he thinks otherwise. So with us it kind of feels like there is no wins when it comes to our disagreements. This however isn’t an option. There is no way I can live the rest of my life with him and not be able to admit when I’m wrong, get upset at his opinions, or not be able to take criticism. So, I did some soul searching, some researching and some listening and found a few articles,videos, and podcast that helped me put my pride to the side just a tad bit so that I can let my man be the man that he is and so that I can learn to be submissive to my significant other.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m like this with everyone. Which doesn’t make it any better and which is exactly why I have to find a solution quick before my life begins to fall into a downward spiral. If there are any of you out there with the same problem that I am currently facing, I challenge you to follow these steps to better yourself and take control over the situation once and for all.

The next time you receive constructive criticism from your manager, a friend, your significant other etc, use this six-step process to handle the encounter with tact and grace:

  1. Stop your reaction.
  2. Remember the benefit of getting feedback.
  3. Listen for understanding. Not just because.
  4. Say Thank You.
  5. Ask questions to deconstruct the feedback.
  6. Adjust your attitude.

You can do all of this and still get depressed and hurt when someone tells you how you can improve. Attitude is the key here, and if you don’t push yourself to be more positive about the criticism you get, you’ll always be in a crappy mood. Look at criticism as a chance to grow and get better- or even to surpass the person delivering the critique. I know it’s easier said than done, but knowing your strengths and being ready to hear and accept your weaknesses is the most powerful thing that you can do.

A Lot of people will tell you “stop taking it so personal,” which is a pretty dismissive cop-out that minimizes how you feel. They mean well, but telling someone who’s unhappy to just “be happy” isn’t going to do any good. That said, attitude does count for a lot, and sometimes a good mood will give you the clarity of mind needed to handle criticism better. In some cases, that just means you need a dose of self-confidence, or a chance to do things that you are good at. Admitting to your wrongdoings is hard to do, criticism is hard to take,but it’s essential for us all. Just taking some time to write this post calmed me down, because I was in the midst of  a heated exchange of words right before this. I guess all a person needs at time is time. Time and space to gather their thoughts, think about all that they have said, hurtful things included,and really just understand where they went wrong and admit that it was wrong.

With this being said, I am going to close this post out with this quote that I love so much by Susan Elizabeth Phillips:

” Everything worth having is worth figthing for.”

Nothing in life comes easy. Sometimes we try so hard to succeed and still fail but what you put in is what you get out so let’s make the best of it.

xoxo- Lala.

 

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